This post on Reddit is a good browse. What is the most beautiful and yet saddest song you know?
Although the lyrics are essentially indecipherable, Mogwai’s “2 Rights Make 1 Wrong” always gets to me.
I believe it comes down to my first year in college. I was having a really difficult time adjusting to my new environment. Even though it was only a 40-minute drive from home, I was very homesick. I missed the hell out of my parents, and my sister was states away. I was struggling with having a perfect stranger as my roommate, and with the fact that I had completely forgotten how to make a new friend. I felt like an inhuman visitor on a planet that I knew nothing about.
Not only was fitting in a challenge, but succeeding in classes proved to be difficult as well. I coasted through much of high school without touching my homework, and I didn’t often take studying seriously. I was getting Cs on tests and finding out that, yes, working outside of class is actually a part of my grade. Furthermore, I came to find out that I was very mediocre in the art department, which was a huge blow to my self-esteem.
Most of all, I missed my new boyfriend. It was a relationship that had taken roots in friendly classmates and grew to be an exceptional friendship wrapped in an incredible romance. He was still in high school, I was taking 15 hours with a heavy load of art courses, and we were both in managerial positions at different jobs. It was very difficult to plan even a few hours together.
At night, I would lay awake and wonder if I had made the right decision. Maybe college isn’t for me. Maybe I should move back home to be with my friends, who I never see anymore. Maybe they don’t want to be my friends anymore. Maybe Mom and Dad aren’t proud of me, because I can’t keep it together. Maybe I’m not that good at art after all.
I would wrap myself in Richard’s thick leather jacket, put my head under my pillow and throw a pity party for my inadequacy. I would put on my headphones and listen to this song until I traded tears for sleep.