I’m pretty satisfied! I doubt anyone is getting cut this year. If they let almost 40 students get THIS far, they’re not going to start trimming us now. I don’t know if they’re going to rank us like they did for midpoint review, or just give feedback. I kind of hope they rank us, just because I want to see which direction I’ve gone from last time. But then I would be really upset if I ranked worse than last year. Anyway.
The atmosphere was so different today from last year. I think it’s because we’re all confident about passing. People looked like they slept at least a couple hours, nobody looked ready to throw up, and I only saw one person crying. One guy was still painting. Thirty minutes before review! I hope he got it done…
I don’t know what emotions to feel!! I’m feeling so many things!! I’m happy it’s nearly over, kind of scared that I have to be an adult now, nervous about the feedback that I get to pick up in about four hours, relieved that the moment I’ve been working toward for four years is finally happening, and kind of sad that it’s all ending.
I heard the layout for the drawing and painting exit review was posted, so I went to check it out and see where I’m placed. So I checked my position, was alright with it. And then I looked over the new instructions, because they changed the format of review (which pisses me off anyway, more on that behind the cut).
AND THEN I SEE IT’S ON MOTHERFUCKING APRIL 23.
When I looked at the schedule at the beginning of semester, I accidentally looked at the graduate review date. I think my brain saw the word “graduate” and thought verb instead of noun. So the UNDERgraduates’ review is the week prior. I thought I had two weeks to prepare. I only have one.
So now I’m just sitting here stress-crying.
Honestly, it could have been a lot worse. I could have just missed review entirely. I don’t even want to think about that.
I had to be the asshole who goes to the emergency room at her own birthday party. You’d be surprised at how empty the ER is between 2:30 and 4:30 a.m. on a Saturday.
I had another severe asthma attack. Third one in as many months. Worst one so far.
They prescribed me a nebulizer. It’s good, because if I get one, I won’t have to go to the ER for future attacks. But it’s bad because it’s probably going to cost a shit ton, and I don’t want to be the girl who dies at 35 because she forgot how to breathe without medication.
Whatever. I live to wheeze another day.
I’m trying to book a flight to Boston for new year’s eve (because honestly I really fucking hate everything about new year’s eve, and spending it in the snowy northeast with my sister would be the absolute best), and everything about it is stressing me out.
I am a bad flyer. I have horrible panic attacks when I’m alone on a plane, and I spend literally the whole time crying and hyperventilating. I am also bad at layovers. I can’t navigate unfamiliar airports on my own. I am *also* bad at comparing flights. I don’t know how to work flight websites. PLUS, I’m in debt right now, and none of these flights are cheap.
BUT I AM GOING TO BOSTON THIS WINTER AND NOTHING WILL STOP ME GODDAMMIT.
I just caught myself singing alone!
(This is only really exciting if you know the following: I sing all the goddamn time when I’m hanging out by my lonesome, but I haven’t been able to do so lately because of my massive congestion and terribly sore throat.)
THE SICKNESS IS PASSING.
I fucking hate flu season, mang.
1. Three things I want to say to three different people.
2. One of my insecurities.
3. What turns me on.
4. One of my bad habits.
5. Who I wish I could be.
6. Where I want to be right now.
7. The last thing I ate.
8. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately.
9. What song I’m currently listening to.
10. The last time I cried and why.
11. Something I’m excited about.
12. 5 things I like about myself and 5 things I dislike about myself.
13. Three things I want right now.
Recently my favorite customer (about whom I’ve written before: Mr. Thanks-For-The-Refill) paid me a visit. He’s a gentleman probably in his late 60s/early 70s. He comes in all the time and talks to me about whatever he’s got going on in his life. He’s the highlight of my work week hands down; I always look forward to talking with him.
He set a tiny LED flashlight on the counter, and I assumed he was buying it, so I went to scan it. He stopped me and said, “Oh, I’ve already bought this. It’s for you!” He then went on to tell me about “how dangerous it is out there for a girl like me at night.” And with a cheery “happy birthday or merry Christmas!” he left with his decaf coffee.
I was cleaning my purse today and found the flashlight in there, still in the packaging with the batteries. I decided to put it together for whenever I’ll need it, so I peeled back the tape holding on the batteries and thought, “What a strange way to package batteries… What kind of company would waste time taping them to the package?” I looked closer at the package and read “batteries not included.”
Mr. Thanks-For-The-Refill got those batteries separately and taped them to the package for me. What a thoughtful gentleman. People like him are the gems of this earth.